Intensive 5K Training Madness!

Hey! Guess what? I've kept my New Year's Resolutions for 3 whole days! It's got to be some type of record! Only 362 more opportunities left to break them.

Just Kidding.

Today, I want to talk about the moment of temporary insanity I had a few months ago when I somehow flippantly agreed to enter a 5K race with one of my best friends...and our husbands.

She sent me a message on Facebook that said:

Who wants to run in the Chinese New Year 5K with me? It's the Year of the Dragon, don't ya know? There's a colorful dragon t-shirt involved.  

 They're calling it the Chinese New Year Run and Wok. Get it? Wok?

That's all it took. She knows I can't back down from a challenge.  My competitive nature doesn't allow for it. It's like my Kryptonite. She knew I couldn't say no.

Plus, the race had a goofy name and it came with a colorful dragon t-shirt.  What cowgirl can resist owning a colorful dragon t-shirt in her wardrobe????

Once I commit to doing something...that's it.  I'm all in. Whole hearted.  110% Effort. No turning back.

The timing of this race is impeccable!

It's winter, and we live in the mountains 30 minutes from a ski resort. This means that we're training in heavy snow with sub-arctic temperatures.

I'm running on the frozen tundra with cinders, salt, mud, ice, and snow berms on both sides of the road.

Approximately 6 minutes into my daily jogging adventure I encounter a steep grade hill on my road that might as well be Mt. Everest when you're an out- of-shape 34 year old mother of 3 children.

I wear sweatpants, long johns, two layers of shirts, gloves, and an ear-warming headband.  Stylish, it's definitely not, but I feel like the look makes me totally hard-core. I'm like Rocky Balboa training in Russia in the dead of winter to fight Ivan Drago in Rocky IV.  I guess you had to see the movie to know what I'm talking about. But I digress.

Training in these harsh winter conditions is giving us all the black lung. After we inhale the cold, arctic air and the occasional exhaust from old diesel trucks passing us on the road, we get some type of smoker's cough for an hour.  It's just a small price to pay.

We're running at 7000 ft. elevation. There's practically no oxygen up here.  If I were in an airplane, they'd be dropping the breathing masks down from the ceiling right about now.

To add insult to injury, my husband can walk as fast as me when I'm jogging at full throttle.  Sometimes he just quits running and starts walking right in front of my face. If I had an ounce of breath left in my lungs, I'd cuss him out, but it takes too much energy. I just give him the stink eye and focus on the road ahead.  I can't help it that God did not bless me with a 38" inseam and a giraffe stride.  I take 3 steps for every one of his.

And when I get home from jogging, I'm ravenous!!There will be no weight loss from all of this training, so there's no incentive to run for loss of poundage.


NONE OF THIS MATTERS.

It's all a part of my strategy.  The race is in Phoenix at 1100 ft. in elevation.  It will be a balmy 75 degrees Fahrenheit, and the streets are paved with sunshine.  When we go down there, we'll shed off our snow suits and jog in string bikinis.  Totally kidding.  We'll wear jogging shorts with our fluorescent white legs to distract the competition.  We'll be able to breathe in the thick, oxygen-rich air and it will fill our lungs and red blood cells with life sustaining POWER!  Our legs will move like a roadrunner, and we will cruise through the streets at full speed to the finish line, where our colorful dragon T-shirts will be waiting for us.

The Chinese New Year Run/ Wok won't even know what to do with us, we'll run so fast!!!!

Kidding. Again.

The truth is, I'm an out of shape mom, who used to be a high school track star.  In my mind, I still run like the wind, but in reality, jogging kicks my booty.  I'm training everyday just so I can complete the race in one piece without doing any permanent bodily damage.  I'm glad it's called the Chinese Run/ Wok....emphasis on "Wok" because that's what I may end up doing.  I've got over a month of training left, so there's still time for a miracle. I may just be able to run the whole darn thing, and totally impress myself.


In it to win it,

Nell