Tuesday, January 21, 2014
The Cold, Hard Truth
When I was young and in the peak of physical fitness, I once witnessed an odd sight that I couldn't rectify in my mind. I had been jogging around the lake, when a large lady passed me on the fly. For an entire hour I marveled at the fact that an older woman who looked like she had the body of a potato with toothpick legs was kicking my booty and running circles around me.
How could it be?
Fast forward 15 years and three kids, and I am starting to become the potato lady. I have been jogging 5 miles a day for nearly 5 months and have lost very little weight. I can do cardio all day long, but I'm not seeing the results that I'm looking for. I'm just not toning up.
I am living proof that you can still resemble a potato and jog 5 miles a day. It seemed impossible, but it's true.
So after 12 years of hitting the dusty dirt roads with a jogging stroller, I finally gave in.....
I joined the gym.
I need more than just cardio. I need nothing short of a miracle to help me firm up this body.
So 4-5 days a week, I hit the gym with 4 of my dear friends, and we subject ourselves to an hour of torture in a class called "Power Sculpting".
I go with my friends because misery loves company. We hold each other accountable to make sure we show up.
Yesterday I texted my work-out buddy:
ME: "Are you going to aerobics this morning?"
HER: "Ya I'll be there, but D won't be there. She's sick."
ME: " I'm sick, too....... Sick of being fat."
HER: "SOL! (Snorting out loud)
The first day that I walked into the aerobics room was a big eye opener. It was wall-to-wall mirrors.
Let me tell ya, there's NO better truth teller than seeing yourself work out for an hour surrounded by mirrors. You can suck in your gut for a few seconds while you check your outfit out in the bathroom mirror and tell yourself that you look fine, but I'm hear to testify that you CANNOT suck in your gut for a full hour while doing jumping jacks and burpees. You see every jiggle that you have. So many unflattering angles in those evil mirrors... If that doesn't make you want to work harder, I don't know what will.
So I'm crunching, squatting, jumping, jogging, twisting and lifting my way to a (hopefully) more healthy body. I'm not aspiring to be one of those fitness girls on Pinterest with the 6-pack abs and perfectly sculpted gluteus maximus. I've had 3 kids. I just want to jiggle a little less, and slim down a little more.
After the first week of classes, I could barely bend down to sit on the toilet. My new mantra is "Pain is weakness leaving the body. Pain is weakness leaving the body, Pain is weakness leaving the body..."
So I'm on a quest to look less like a potato and more like a... like a... oh I don't know. Maybe more like a long, slender stick of celery. Ya, celery. I like that look a lot better.
Keeping it real for the other mamas who struggle,