Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Cold, Hard Truth

When I was young and in the peak of physical fitness, I once witnessed an odd sight that I couldn't rectify in my mind.  I had been jogging around the lake, when a large lady passed me on the fly.  For an entire hour I marveled at the fact that an older woman who looked like she had the body of a potato with toothpick legs was kicking my booty and running circles around me.

How could it be?

Fast forward 15 years and three kids, and I am starting to become the potato lady.  I have been jogging 5 miles a day for nearly 5 months and have lost very little weight. I can do cardio all day long, but I'm not seeing the results that I'm looking for. I'm just not toning up.

I am living proof that you can still resemble a potato and jog 5 miles a day. It seemed impossible, but it's true.

So after 12 years of hitting the dusty dirt roads with a jogging stroller, I finally gave in.....

I joined the gym.

I need more than just cardio. I need nothing short of a miracle to help me firm up this body.

So 4-5 days a week, I hit the gym with 4 of my dear friends, and we subject ourselves to an hour of torture in a class called "Power Sculpting".

I go with my friends because misery loves company. We hold each other accountable to make sure we show up.

Yesterday I texted my work-out buddy:

ME: "Are you going to aerobics this morning?"
HER: "Ya I'll be there, but D won't be there. She's sick."
ME: " I'm sick, too....... Sick of being fat."
HER: "SOL!  (Snorting out loud)

The first day that I walked into the aerobics room was a big eye opener.  It was wall-to-wall mirrors.

Let me tell ya, there's NO better truth teller than seeing yourself work out for an hour surrounded by mirrors. You can suck in your gut for a few seconds while you check your outfit out in the bathroom mirror and tell yourself that you look fine, but I'm hear to testify that you CANNOT suck in your gut for a full hour while doing jumping jacks and burpees. You see every jiggle that you have. So many unflattering angles in those evil mirrors... If that doesn't make you want to work harder, I don't know what will.

So I'm crunching, squatting, jumping, jogging, twisting and lifting my way to a (hopefully) more healthy body.  I'm not aspiring to be one of those fitness girls on Pinterest with the 6-pack abs and perfectly sculpted gluteus maximus. I've had 3 kids. I just want to jiggle a little less, and slim down a little more.

After the first week of classes, I could barely bend down to sit on the toilet.  My new mantra is "Pain is weakness leaving the body. Pain is weakness leaving the body, Pain is weakness leaving the body..."

So I'm on a quest to look less like a potato and more like a... like a... oh I don't know. Maybe more like a long, slender stick of celery.  Ya, celery. I like that look a lot better.

Keeping it real for the other mamas who struggle,



  1. Oh my Lord girl you have me in stitches. The way you wrote this post and not about losing the weight. I was always skinny until 50th birthday. I am the potato also. But now mostly in a wheelchair. I was told if I couldn't lose weight by isometrics then to look at my diet. Yep, I looked at it. I did not know I need eating therapy. LOL. Good luck girl!!! Sorry I don't comment much but know I'm out here. Isn't that scary...lol

  2. Oh goodness! I joined a gym years ago, but that was so I could use the hot tub and steam room! ha ha ha! I so admire you for getting toned. Its easy to loose weight. But so hard to get toned. Good luck to you. :)

  3. Hey me too! I joined a the gym in town but don't have any workout buddies! I wish you were closer! Which one do you go too?
    I did the booty camp class last week - It was fierce 30 minutes of tough moves and I kid you not I was sore for 2 days! It's only on Tuesdays and Thursdays but I am definitely going to try to go both days - Then I try to run on the good ol' treadmill, ride the spin bikes and lift weights the other days. I have seen no improvement but then I again I haven't completely gone "clean eating" too - I like my mexican food :) Haha! I love your new mantra - It's awesome! Good Luck!!
    Hope you guys are doing well! xo

  4. You crack me up, Nell!! Hey, I love the "Lucille Ball" lips on your potato picture!! :)

  5. Nell, you are first class hilarity!!!! (that is a lot of exclamation marks for me.)

    First moment I cracked out loud, was when I read the title of your post, but actually clicked over and saw the photo pop up. Woman, you are awesome.

    Hope you are feeling good about how things are going. Somehow this last baby seemed to absolutely kick me in the butt - I feel like I might never feel half normal, half awake, and doing what the heck you are doing again (not that I even was at a gym before.) Best of luck, lady, best of luck.