There is a nano-second just before you sneeze when your head contorts involuntarily and looks to the heavens, your mouth opens into an awkward angle, your brow furrows, and your eyes begin to water. You totally look like a dork. Perhaps you even try to look towards the light to bring forth that sneeze that just won't come.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Well, I've been in that pre-sneeze mode for 6 full days now.
Six days of walking around looking like I'm in extreme facial pain.
Six days of itchy, watery, red eyes.
Six days of little microscopic fairies tickling my nose with teeny, tiny little feathers.
Six days of feeling like I've inhaled pepper.
Six days of people asking me if I'm alright because it looks like I've been mourning the loss of a dead pet.
I've had it with this junk!
My allergy medicine is powerless to stop this evil sneezing madness.
It's Chinese torture to feel like you have to sneeze all week. Absolute Chinese Torture.
(Are the Chinese still known for their superior torture techniques? I'm not up on the latest.)
Anyway, I am in agony.
If it were socially acceptable to twist up two pieces of Kleenex and stick them up my nostrils, I would be the first to sport the new fashion.
If I could put Cocoa Puffs up my nose to stop the madness, I would.
It's sheer misery.
Feeling a bit dramatic today, Nell? Why yes I am.
I'm off to buy stock in Kleenex,