Wednesday, September 28, 2011

That Really Chaps my Hide!

Can I just gripe about something trivial and insignificant?

This morning I woke up to find that I'm already getting chapped and cracked hands and it's only September!

It's no secret that I have ugly, old man hands... but cracks in September?

That's atrocious!

To be honest, I usually don't care a lick about how my hands look as long as my toes are painted cute.

I put lotion on them every morning, but my prematurely wrinkling hands soak the moisture up like the desert consumes a rain drop. 15 minutes later, you can't tell I even put anything on them.


Today, I resolved to do something drastic with my hands. I decided to beautify them with the royal treatment!

A well- meaning friend gave me a set of manicure products called "Satin Hands" by Mary Kay.

She assured me that "Satin Hands" were the only hope for me. That was last February. I thanked her for the products, and then forgot about them until now.

This morning, I pulled out the big guns and started the three- step process:

1. Exfoliate.
2. Moisturize.
3. Emulsify with emollient. ( I don't exactly know what that means, in terms of handcream, but it sounds powerfully potent.)

After the skin treatment was complete, I thought to myself, "why not go the extra mile?"

So I did the unthinkable: I painted my finger nails!

I know. Big Step. Huge.

Can you see the difference? My hands felt like a greased pig at the county fair, but they sure looked pretty! (Relatively speaking, that is.) You know, I may have a future as a hand model for beauty products. Totally Kidding.

Moving on.....

This is what gripes me.

Below is a picture of my fingernails after two coats of polish, and a coat of Sally Hansen "Hard as Nails" topcoat. That's 3 coats of polish.

Now here is a picture of my nails 6 hours later. Chipped off nail polish, and dry cuticles.

The beauty lasted less than 25% of 1 day.

It took me over an hour to beautify, and ten minutes to wreck them with the evening chores.


To add insult to injury, I asked my husband if he "noticed" my hands today.

He said, "No. Why? What's wrong with them?"

My husband is the only person I'm trying to impress. If he doesn't even notice when I paint my fingernails, then why go through all of the stinkin' effort?

I'm going back to my old ways.

But I am going to continue the "Satin Hands" treatments. I've also got bag balm in the truck. One of them is bound to improve my chapped skin before winter sets in.

Resigned to be content with ugly hands,



  1. That satin hands thing is pretty impressive! I hear ya on the time vs. benefit issue...but having cracked (painful) dry skin is NOT fun!
    I wonder if it'd work on feet.....

  2. I giggled reading this. Not that it's funny, more like "I'm not the only one!"
    Last night I had to yell at my hubby to open the bathroom door last night. I put lotion on and I too was like ah greased pig - could NOT open the door! Hubby stood there an said 'wipe yer hands onnah towel' oh well ah purty gal in the country can't shine like those city gals but we DO shine! Hugs and laughter.....

  3. Stumbled over her from Deanna's blog. I can so relate to the dry, chapped, man hands. Too much effort to pretty them up just to have them chipped in a few minute after chores. My husband doesn't even notice either. I don't think there are many men that do. There tend to be "butt men" and "boob men", and that's about it. lol!

    I use Bag Balm, too, and it works but it tends to be greasy. The only lotion I've found that is rich and long lasting enough is St. Ives.

    As for nail polish, I don't think the manufacturers have come up with one that is tough enough to stand up to the hard work that we farm girls do. :)


  4. I can completely relate to the greased pig heels are terrible....the only thing that works around here is Gold Bond with Aloe and that's just if I am really desperate, normally, I don't use lotion period, because I can not stand that greasy