Too Much Information

Note: For your benefit, today's blog will have no pictures.  If you are a male, or are squeamish about leg hair, you might not want to read this.  Thank you for understanding.


My Love has been working out of town this week, and I'm soooo glad he's coming home today.  I've really let myself go the last few days.  In fact, I've taken a good hard look at myself this week, and I'm convinced that if something happened to my husband, I have the potential to become one of those scary "cat ladies" that own 15 felines. That's a frightening realization, folks. I don't even really like cats!  Let's face it, the only real reason I put on lipstick every day is for my husband, and if he's not here, why waste the stuff?

For days I've roamed the house with no makeup, a bun in my hair, and cut off sweats.  I even mowed the front yard on the riding lawn mower that way. I've NEVER done this before... I'd be mortified if someone I knew drove by and saw me like that.  But this week, I threw caution to the wind.  I enjoyed the grunge look so much that I decided to go to the feed store wearing a Bass Pro Shop ball cap and  big movie star sunglasses like the paparazzi was chasing me.  It was great. I didn't have to brush my hair or put on mascara!

I stayed up every night reading in bed, surrounded by a nest full of pillows, and no one was there to tell me to turn the darned light off.  I even pulled out a few pairs of Granny panties that I haven't worn since the third trimester of my pregnancies, and I wore them to bed with my husband's old softball tee shirts.  Who cares? There's no one there to see them anyway! Why waste the good stuff?  Instead of good smelling Victoria's Secret lotions and lingerie, I used Vaseline intensive care lotion and wore Hanes Her Way Grannies.  I even applied one of those green facial masks that made me look like the Incredible Hulk.  Who needs a gun for self defense when the menfolk are away?  Intruders would run away screaming at the sight of me this week!

I even decided to take a break from shaving my legs.  By day three, I was out weeding the garden and I thought I could feel the wind blowing on my leg hairs.  It may have just been a bug, but the thought of having leg hairs long enough to catch a breeze was enough to make me shave my legs immediately.  I guess I have some limits when it comes to the"natural" look.

Today, all my hippie living comes to an end.  Today, I shower. Today, I put on good smelling lotion.  Today, I will brush and curl my hair and put makeup on.  I might even wear my bling belt.  I will wash and fold my Granny Panties and put them back in the depths of my drawer for another time when my husband goes out of town, or goes hunting.  Today, I will transform myself from "Cat Lady" back into "Hott Wife" (With 2 T's).  A few more days of this nonsense and I might have started to think deodorant was optional.  Scary!  I'm so glad my husband's on his way home....for your sake, and mine.