Sunday, November 14, 2010

Why we were late for Church

It started off at 6 am when my husband tried to shove me out of bed.  I resisted. I NEED for him to get out of bed first. I have a ritual that involves kicking my legs over onto his side of the bed while it is still warm with the blissful awareness that the bed is ALL mine.  I must perform this ritual every morning.  He said that I needed to curl my hair before he took a shower or the steam would ruin my hairdo. A scuffle ensued and I lost the battle. Then he kicked me into the cold dark world...withOUT me being able to kick my legs over onto his side.  To add insult to injury... he then made snow angel movements while giving an evil laugh to show his complete dominance of the whole bed. Brat.  That made me 2 minutes late.

Next, I had to curl hair, and act as wardrobe consultant for my girls.  I informed my baby that today was not princess dress day, it was denim day. The whole family was wearing denim except for her. She didn't get the memo.  She ran to change out of her twirly dress, into cowgirl attire.  That made me 3 minutes late.

The whole family was now waiting for me in the truck while I accessorized my outfit. This made me an additional minute late.

Total tardiness at this point = 6 minutes.

Then I ran out of the house with a pack of Skittles, the breakfast of champions. (I'm the only one that doesn't have time to eat breakfast in the morning.  Good hair or Good breakfast....I choose good hair.)

Side note: Last Sunday, I ran out of the house with what I thought was a package of peanut M & M's, only to be utterly devastated when I turned them over to find out they were Raisinets.  The disappointment of eating chocolate covered raisins when I was craving M & M's was a real let down at 7:40 am.  The bags look deceptively similar when they are upside down and I'm running through the kitchen like a lunatic grabbing my Bible, purse, gum, candy, and iced tea while my husband is honking the horn. I will not make that mistake again.  Even if it costs me an additional 10 seconds of tardiness.

Anyway, we were only 6 minutes behind schedule when we backed out of the driveway. But then we saw this:

A bull elk was with his herd of cows, getting a drink from our lake.  We just had to stop and enjoy their beauty.  These pictures were taken with my husband's camera phone because I left the Nikon at home.  Every time I leave without my camera, there is something picture worthy that I miss.

By the time we backed up to get the good camera, the elk ran back into the forest. That made us an additional 3 minutes late for church.

Total tardiness at this point = 9 minutes

By now we were running late for real.  However, the wind trajectory, timing of the stop lights, and my husband's driving skills all worked in our favor this morning.  That, coupled with the fact that we got rock star parking, shaved off a full 3 minutes.

Total tardiness at this point = 6 minutes

When we arrived at church, we took the walk of shame down the aisle to the nearest pew with enough seats available for the whole family.  Entering quietly with a family of 5 is like trying to herd cows silently through the sanctuary. 

We were only 6 minutes late, but it was well worth seeing the beauty of God's creation on a crisp Sunday morning.  I had to forgive my husband for kicking me out of the bed, and repent for wanting revenge, but after that, the service was wonderful!

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