Monday, December 26, 2011

The Best, Worst, and Funniest of Christmas


The Best of Christmas:


 My husband bought me a new American West Cowhide Handbag!!!!!!


Hello Gorgeous! I've been waiting sooo very long for you.


 I know that Cowhide isn't for everyone, but when it comes to purses, I like to walk on the wild side!


The Worst of Christmas:


My brother bought my husband this Michael Bolton Concert Shirt circa 1994 from the thrift store as a gag gift.  It's a women's size XL.  The worst part is that my tough, cowboy husband is secure enough in his manhood to wear it out in public with absolutely NO shame at all! When he lifts his arms up, it shows his belly button! I sent him to the grocery store early in the morning, and was completely mortified to see that he wore the dreaded apparel to the store, despite laughter and weird looks from strangers.


I don't even know what to say about this picture.


The Funniest of Christmas:

The annual Chia Pet exchange went beautifully. For those of you who are new to the blog, my brother and I have been exchanging an Elmer Fudd Chia pet back and forth for 12 years. 



 After surgically extracting the Chia Pet from last year's decoy, I wrapped it up in ordinary Christmas wrapping, and then put it in a Christmas gift sack. 


My brother had his "Chia Radar" tuned all the way up, and was leery of opening any gifts from me.  I secretly chuckled when he unwrapped his real gift because he was SURE it was the Chia. It wasn't. When the gift exchanging was over and the Chia hadn't made its appearance, Mega-Mind was flabbergasted! I didn't say a word.  I left the gift-wrapped package down at my Dad's house, and made my way back up the mountain.  

Here's how the whole thing went down: On Christmas day, while I was 220 miles away and enjoying the festivities with my husband's side of the family, my side of the family was gathering at my Dad's house for Prime Rib.  I knew that my brother would never open a suspicious gift from me, so I had to enlist the help of someone innocent. I had my grandpa hand the gift to my brother.  He conjured up some great story about it being a gift for the baby from one of his neighbors.  He bought it...hook, line, and sinker!  When the wrapping paper fell to the floor, he knew that he'd been hoodwinked! MWAhahahahaha!!( Evil laugh).

Mega-Mind, if you're reading this blog, I have a simple, heartfelt message:

This year, I'm starting a new Christmas tradition of "Hope and Change".  I "hope" you "change" your mind about your Christmas gift.  The Chia belongs to YOU.



(I owe my Grandpa another batch of Oatmeal Raisin Cookies for his help in my plot because the word on the street is that my brother ate his first batch as retaliation for the evil deed.)



Basking in Chia Pet Glory,

Nell










3 comments:

  1. Oh my the purse is beautiful. I have a hand tooled leather one my first husband bought me. It has finally started to come apart so have I have to take it in and get the weaving redone on it. But the leather is like new yet and it is 40 years old.

    And as for your hubby and the shirt. He and my hubby would make a great pair. He has stuff that is too small from high school and will not part with it. Never will he loose enough to get back into it. lol

    Love the story of the chia pet. My great grandmother and her sister did that with a birthday card for almost 30 years. Each year it was returned to the other with another short note added to it.

    Karan

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  2. Great post. I LOVE cow hide and I was dying to know what that tiny scrap we saw before was. I have to say, my husband is a pretty secure kind of guy but I really, really see him drawing the line at a Michael Bolton T shirt. I wish I could have seen the faces on people down at the shop, so funny. And I hope your brother finds hope and change too....that gift is truly ghastly. Still it's become a lovely family tradition.

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  3. hmmm.... Just wait till next year! I have nothing more to say to this nonsense!

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