Friday, May 21, 2010


We're dog sitting this weekend.  My In- Laws entrust us with their beloved pooch from time to time, and we do the very best we can to give "Millie" the royal treatment. After all, she is the queen of the castle at her own house.  Her pedigree and lineage is so exotic that they have yet to classify her breed, but I'm certain that she has high dollar classy bloodlines running through her veins.
My In-Laws rescued Millie off the streets, the same way they have done with all of their previous dogs throughout the years.  Now she lives life up to her full potential.  She's taken her troubled past of neglect and used it to make her a stronger dog.  She's a bit of local celebrity in these parts.  She's run a successful campaign for Mayor of my husband's hometown.  Like all good politicians, she's always shaking paws and licking babies.  Here's a shot of her campaigning in our Fourth of July parade:

In order to keep her "ready for her close-up", my mother-in-law takes her to "Patty's Pet Parlor" to give her the works every few months.  I'm not sure how to say this delicately, but, Millie has a small facial hair problem.  The girl can grow a goatee, handlebar mustache, and Groucho Marx eyebrows, like no other dog I know.  My mother-in-law thinks it doesn't look "feminine", but I think bearded ladies are kinda cool.  She's not just another pretty face though.  Millie has many serious jobs around her house.  She's a watch dog, skunk chaser, squirrel eradicator, and woodpile inspector.  But her most prized and highly adapted skill is bird chasing.  Millie can bag a bird in a flash.  Her catches include many species of birds including rare wetland varieties....possibly protected under the endangered species act....I'm not sure.  Anyway, when she comes over to our house, she spends the bulk of her time stalking our chickens.  She waits patiently until they exit the coop door and then she pounces.  Here's a picture of her waiting in her best bird dog pose:

(Notice the paw in the air and her tail in "point" position)

Anyway, I'm telling you all of this to say that Millie really hates it at our house.  She normally lives with two retired people who take naps every day.  Then they bring her over to our house with three busy children, two dog cousins, and total chaos.  It's like dog hell to her. There's NO peace and quiet.  She's constantly being kissed  by the girls who lay blankets on her while she sleeps so she won't get "cold", they brush her fur with doll brushes,  my son plays fetch with her until she wants to drop dead, and my dog, Chigger, always steals her bed. 

One day, all of the madness threw her over the edge.  A good friend of mine stopped by to drop off a few items.  She was still grieving the recent loss of her dad, and we were both holding back the tears. I gave her a hug, said good-bye to her, and watched through the window as she pulled out of the drive way.  A minute later, she returned and knocked on the door.

Her: "Do you have a new little yellow dog?"
Me: "I'm watching my in-law's dog...she's yellow."
Her: "Well she's in the back seat of my suburban and I almost drove away with her. I was startled when I saw her in my rear view mirror, and turned around. She doesn't want to leave the car."

Millie had escaped the backyard, jumped 3 feet up into a perfect stranger's open suburban door, and tried to stow away!  And, by golly, she was almost successful at it.The most embarrassing part was that I couldn't get her out! She kept jumping over the seats, and dug in her heels as I dragged her by her collar.  I was utterly mortified.

Me: (nervously laughing)" Uh ha, I'm so sorry about this, she's never tried this before, I don't know what's gotten into her."

My friend started cracking up and we both ended up having a good laugh about Millie's run-away attempt.  I think sometimes the Lord must use laughter to ease the pain of days when a heart feels heavy, at least that's what I'm telling myself.

After I confessed this story to my in-laws, I was sure that would be the last time they ever trusted me with their dog, but they are the forgiving type, and not ones to hold a grudge, so they gave us another chance.  This trip to the house, Millie ran back to the car three times before my in-laws could even leave.  They practically had to run out of here and peel out in the driveway to escape.  Once they did, Millie resigned herself to yet another weekend of disruptions, annoying children, and interrupted naps.  As you can see, she's not a happy dog. In fact, I'd say she was in the depths of despair.

My son said," Mom, I don't understand it....we give Millie all the treats she wants, we pet her, play with her and take her for walks, but she still doesn't like it here!"

I understand her perfectly, though.  There's been a day or two when I've wanted to stow away to take a little nap, myself.  Poor Millie.  It's a dog's life.

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