Friday, May 14, 2010

"Mmmmm, Those are Good Brownies"

I have a friend that I always seem to get into sticky situations with.  We share a similar sense of humor, and it sometimes gets us into trouble.  The bond goes deep.  We've survived traumatic things.  Once, we single handedly moved a Semi truck load of furniture for a friend, all in the name of Jesus. On another occasion, she accidentally drove us through some one's "yard" in an attempt to get to the house where a Ladies church gathering was taking place. The car got high-centered on a mound of dirt, and the owner of the property came out screaming,"You're driving through my yard!!"  We waived, shook our heads up and down and I apologized profusely while my friend gunned it. We peeled out leaving a trail of dust and gravel behind us. I was sure the lady was loading her shot gun. I'm telling you all of this to say that we are close friends....if we were black, we'd be "soul sistas".  In order to protect the innocent, all names will be changed for this story.  Let's just call my friend....Sunrise..... or "Sunny" for short.

  Sunny and I attend a Conservative Baptist Church.  One evening, we were gathered together for a church function. Now, there is an unwritten law that Baptists must bring food to EVERY church function.  It's just what we do. After seriously studying the scriptures, we all gathered around the dessert table for a little re-fueling.  Everyone knows that deep prayer and bible study make a tummy get a case of the rumbles.  I was eye-balling all of the options at the table.  They all looked delicious.  After a few minutes of indecision, my friend Sunny made the following comment:

"Mmmmmm, those are good brownies, you should have one."

Now, I fully and completely trust Sunny.  I have no reason not to, so I decide to take a brownie too.  I open my mouth in anticipation of the fudgy goodness, and I bite down.  I think I'm going to chip a tooth.  My teeth cannot even break up the cement-like hardness of this brick disguised as a brownie.  I give Sunny the death look.  She gives me the "What?" look.  I try a different location on the brownie.  Maybe I just got an edge piece.  Again, rock hard.  Now the nice person that made the brownies is looking directly at me.  I smile and raise my brownie to her in a toast- like acknowledgement of her baked goods.  What was I supposed to do?  There was no trash can in sight, and I couldn't walk around with the brownie all night.  I had no choice but to try to choke it down.  I began to gnaw at the corner of it.  Someone attempted to talk to me but I couldn't hear them over the loud crunching sounds in my head.  I poured myself a big glass of water.  Maybe it would help the pieces go down a little smoother.  Three minutes later, I endured the last bite of misery.  I was feeling betrayed and bitter.  After all, once you make your dessert selection, you can't put it back.  I scanned the room for Sunny, and pulled her aside.

"You're going straight to Hell for that lie you told.", I whispered.

"What lie?" she asked, all innocent- like.

"The lie about the brownies.  You said, mmmm, good brownies, remember?  Well, I had one and it was the worst brownie I've ever was torturous!" I spouted off.

She just laughed. This became an inside joke between us.

Fast forward 6 months.  Sunny and I went to the local beauty college for a $5.00 pedicure.  As luck would have it, I got mine from a young girl who had no idea what she was doing.  I think it was her first week.  She proceeded to get nail polish all over my toes.  I'm certain that my seven year old could paint nails better.  Sunny was in the chair next to me receiving an A+ pedicure.  She was looking at my toes and laughing.  She knew I was getting the short end of the stick.  That's just my luck.  I felt so sorry for the little gal, though.  She was really, really nervous.  When the instructor walked up to inspect her work, she asked me how I liked my pedicure.

"She did a really good job." I said to the instructor.

Sunny just looked over at me and said, "mmmmm, those are good brownies!"

Then we started laughing uncontrollably.

P.S.- If you're reading this, wondering if it was your brownies.... rest assured that it wasn't. ;)

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